Blogging is a thankless game.
Firstly you have to come up with an idea, then you have to write about it and finally my two readers (who include me and a web-surfing parrot) don’t pay me for it.
Anyway the point of this long-winded introduction isn’t really to whinge about how hard my life is since I’ve started gilesd-j.com, rather it’s a clumsy way to introduce to you the main theme of this blog post: nothing.
Actually that’s not exactly true, I have some ideas of things to write about, problem is most of them involve the various stock of gadgets I’ve accumulated during my conversion to capitalism and these are boring.
What’s not boring, however, is garage sales and with the (I assume annual) garage sale trail rocking the Sydney suburbs this weekend what could be a more relevant topic than this <END SENTENCE>.
For those of you who don’t know what a garage has to do with a sale, essentially the event is where people put all their crap on their front lawn and try to convince passers-by to buy it. Pulling off this feat requires an extraordinary combination of the jedi mind trick and the passer-by actually being willing to trade something of value for the aforementioned crap.
The first thing you need to be prepared for is how, unless they’ve set up shop in somebody else’s backyard, you’ll be intruding into their personal space.
If this a neighbour you’ve got a running feud with, this is an excellent opportunity to get your own back by roaming around their place aimlessly and sending them knowing stares while you rummage through their stuff.
Failing this there are always plenty of opportunities to annoy people attending the garage sale itself. You see occasionally you’re likely to encounter a professional g-saler (that’s what they call themselves), which are the most enjoyable to mess with.
My technique is generally to spot the person who is rummaging through the items with the most vigor and fane that I’m just as interested in buying the crap as they are. For the professional collector this is a major threat and they’ll likely buy a lot of stuff they usually wouldn’t (such as a full collection of Barry Manilow records).
But for those of you who are attending the garage sales for the purposes of actually buying stuff (who are you people?) the best way to drive a hard bargain is to lay scorn on the personal possessions of the seller and to ask the price and act disinterested. This technique is tried and true I assure you, one time I managed to snatch a full set of Barry Manilow albums from underneath the nose of a rival collector.